Saturday, April 22, 2006

Oozing Insecurity in Mill Valley

Somewhere under all of that overgrown foliage is a Mill Valley POS. It comes in at 888 sq ft, 2 br 1 ba. At the laughable asking price of $965,000 you are looking at $1087 per sq ft. Here's the realtor's write-up:
Incredibly charming updated cottage in serene idyllic setting. Living room is quite large with windows on 3 sides, fplc & deck. Bath has claw foot tub (w. Shower)and wainscotted walls. Country ktchn+dining area also ooze marin charm. Plenty of outdoor space plus storage shed & fort. Very sweet home on sunny lot surrounded by upscale properties.
Let's dissect this one, shall we:

"Charming" = POS.

"Cottage" = tiny POS.

"Idyllic setting" = overgrown. Not to be removed as that is what is holding the place together.

"Ooze Marin charm" = now we know what disease has infected Marin buyers (although in damp south Marin mold comes to mind).

"Fort" = a place to hide out and shoot looters when the economy crashes.

"Surrounded by upscale properties" = that would be your (the buyer's, the wannabe's) insecurity and feelings of inadequacy as you come to realize you bought the neighborhood POS.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooze marin charm

One should never use the word "ooze" if one is trying to sell something. This realtor is a moron.

Also, Marin is usually spelled with a capital 'M.'

April 23, 2006 11:51 AM  
Anonymous ... said...

They should just call it a tear down, everyone knows that's what it is.

April 23, 2006 5:37 PM  
Blogger john_law_the_II said...

how can that be near a million dollars?

April 24, 2006 12:10 PM  
Blogger Wickedheart said...

For a million dollars I wouldn't expect to risk broken bones getting to the front door. The stairs look rotted and termite ridden. I'd be scared I'd fall right though them.

April 25, 2006 9:45 AM  
Anonymous House Flipper said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

April 25, 2006 8:31 PM  
Blogger marin_explorer said...

ooze marin charm

Given last winter's storms, "ooze" might be a very accurate term for this home.

Marin is usually spelled with a capital 'M.'

Unless "marin" has become an adjective, as in "Sonoma* housing has become marined way beyond any sense of reason."


*"The New Sausalitoâ„¢"

April 27, 2006 5:23 PM  

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