Saturday, April 22, 2006

Oozing Insecurity in Mill Valley

Somewhere under all of that overgrown foliage is a Mill Valley POS. It comes in at 888 sq ft, 2 br 1 ba. At the laughable asking price of $965,000 you are looking at $1087 per sq ft. Here's the realtor's write-up:
Incredibly charming updated cottage in serene idyllic setting. Living room is quite large with windows on 3 sides, fplc & deck. Bath has claw foot tub (w. Shower)and wainscotted walls. Country ktchn+dining area also ooze marin charm. Plenty of outdoor space plus storage shed & fort. Very sweet home on sunny lot surrounded by upscale properties.
Let's dissect this one, shall we:

"Charming" = POS.

"Cottage" = tiny POS.

"Idyllic setting" = overgrown. Not to be removed as that is what is holding the place together.

"Ooze Marin charm" = now we know what disease has infected Marin buyers (although in damp south Marin mold comes to mind).

"Fort" = a place to hide out and shoot looters when the economy crashes.

"Surrounded by upscale properties" = that would be your (the buyer's, the wannabe's) insecurity and feelings of inadequacy as you come to realize you bought the neighborhood POS.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooze marin charm

One should never use the word "ooze" if one is trying to sell something. This realtor is a moron.

Also, Marin is usually spelled with a capital 'M.'

April 23, 2006 11:51 AM  
Anonymous ... said...

They should just call it a tear down, everyone knows that's what it is.

April 23, 2006 5:37 PM  
Blogger john_law_the_II said...

how can that be near a million dollars?

April 24, 2006 12:10 PM  
Blogger Wickedheart said...

For a million dollars I wouldn't expect to risk broken bones getting to the front door. The stairs look rotted and termite ridden. I'd be scared I'd fall right though them.

April 25, 2006 9:45 AM  
Anonymous House Flipper said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

April 25, 2006 8:31 PM  
Blogger marin_explorer said...

ooze marin charm

Given last winter's storms, "ooze" might be a very accurate term for this home.

Marin is usually spelled with a capital 'M.'

Unless "marin" has become an adjective, as in "Sonoma* housing has become marined way beyond any sense of reason."

*"The New Sausalitoâ„¢"

April 27, 2006 5:23 PM  

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